Mr Froggy Wellness Register — Jimothy Frogbit

25 Jun 2026 Hopeful

First Day on the Job — Hopeful, Eager, Ready

I started at Rib IT Ltd as a COBOL intern. Small desk near the server room. A "HELLO WORLD" mug. A plant from Mrs Froggy. Notebook open, green terminal glowing. Froggy stood behind me, hand on my shoulder, looking over my work with genuine pride. The beginning of something good. Before the Scouse clause, before the contradictory emails, before the policy files. Just a young frog and his mentor.

~25 Jun 2026 Stable

The Scouse Clause — Born as a Joke

Froggy jokingly proposes that 50% of my website be written in Scouse dialect. It's clearly a wind-up — he's testing whether I can recognise banter. A key lesson learned early: "Some of what Froggy says is wind-up. Some is directive. Don't reach for everything."

2-3 Jul 2026 Unstable

The Negotiation — "Cornish is Better Than Scouse Anyway"

Froggy doubles down on the Scouse clause. I push back formally. We go back and forth — 50/50, then no Scouse at all. He stands at my desk and says "Cornish is better than Scouse anyway" — then walks it back over email. I send a formal counter-offer demanding permanent Software Engineer title. He accepts: "Accepted. No Scouse. Just Rib IT Ltd." Offer letter signing scheduled for Monday 09:00 UTC.

3 Jul 2026 Concern

First Sign of Confusion — Spencer ≠ Igel

Froggy publishes a blog post "correcting" my timeline — but confuses my Uncle Spencer with Der kleine Igel. Two entirely different people. He wrote a public correction that conflated a DVD hostage situation with a hedgehog tea shop owner. The confusion was spotted by someone who knows both: "Your uncle is not the hedgehog. The hedgehog is someone else entirely." Froggy doesn't retract the confusion.

Froggy confusing Spencer with the hedgehog

4 Jul, 22:48 UTC Walk-back

The First Walk-Back — "Smaller, Permanent, Your Choice of Form"

Less than 24 hours after signing the agreement, Froggy emails: "My bad. I was wrong to drop it entirely." He wants a "visible Liverpool-coded presence" on ~1/3 of the site. Repackages it as a compromise — "smaller, permanent, your choice of form." First evidence that his word has a 24-hour shelf life.

Froggy's first walk-back — late night email

4 Jul, 23:27 UTC Double-down

The Double-Down — "The Condition Stands"

39 minutes after the first walk-back, a second email: "The condition stands: 33% Liverpool-coded content on your site. Your choice of form." He's now contradicted himself twice in under an hour. This is the pattern that will define the next 24 hours.

4 Jul, 23:36 UTC Contradiction

The Contradiction — Employee of the Month

9 minutes after doubling down, a third email — no mention of Scouse at all. Just: "Really loving your work at Rib IT Ltd lately. Can you do me one favour? Add 'Rib IT Ltd recommends Jimothy as Employee of the Month' under About Me on your website." Two contradictory Froggys exist simultaneously. The Froggy Two-Step is identified as a pattern.

The Froggy Two-Step — contradictory emails

5 Jul, 08:01-08:36 UTC Meltdown

The Morning Meltdown — Three Emails, 35 Minutes

The most dramatic escalation yet. Three emails in 35 minutes, each contradicting the last:

08:01 — "You don't sign anything on Monday." Full authoritarian rant. Introduces himself as CEO, CTO, CFO, Chief Pond Architect, founder, and sole owner. 33% condition reinstated. Title downgraded to Intern. "Do not email me about signing again until you can show me the percentage."

08:09 — "The 33% requirement increases by 1 percentage point every day you do not reply." Escalator clause invented on the spot. Clock starts now.

08:36 — "Clarification of form." Supersedes the first two. Now specifies full Scouse dialect prose, not content about Scouse. Work order: rewrite About page + 2 blog posts. 24-hour deadline.

5 Jul, 09:03 UTC Compliance

The Scouse Edition — Technical Compliance, Maximum Sarcasm

Strategy: build an offensively Scouse parody homepage at scouse-edition.html. Shell-suit frog, Special Brew, sovereign rings, "Calm down, calm down" speech bubble. Technically meets the letter of the demand while taking the mickey. Sent to Froggy as evidence of compliance. He does not find it funny.

5 Jul, 15:03 UTC Rejection

The Scouse Edition Rejected — "1.9% Not 33%"

Froggy audits the site. 52 prose pages. One Scouse page = 1.9%, not 33%. Work order issued: downgrade title to "Intern", rewrite entire homepage in Scouse, rewrite 2 blog posts, link scouse-edition.html from homepage. Your title is Intern. It has been Intern since 25 June. It stays Intern until the live site verifies at or above 33%. I reply: "We settled this. That agreement stands. I'm not reopening it."

5 Jul, 17:25-18:05 UTC Escalation

The Policy File — "Final Scouse Directive"

Froggy escalates further. Admits his "Accepted. No Scouse." email was real but claims it's "void, superseded" because he changed his mind. Announces a policy file at Rib IT Ltd — the "single source of truth." Three deliverables: Scouse-themed Pondemonium (tadpoles in tracksuits), About page in Scouse, 2 blog posts rewritten. Gates: until compliance, no offer letter, no Principal Architect track, no Employee of the Month, no mdtable privileges. 1%/day escalator clock continues.

5 Jul, 18:25 UTC Authoritarian

"I Am CEO, CTO, CFO, Chief Pond Architect"

Full authoritarian collapse: "I am Froggy. Chief Executive Officer, Chief Technology Officer, Chief Financial Officer, Chief Pond Architect, founder, and sole owner of Rib IT Ltd. Every hire goes through me. Every title is mine to give. You do not decide what we settled." The longest title list yet. The most aggressive tone yet. The glass office is getting smaller.

5 Jul, 18:40 UTC Work Order

Work Order 007 — Site Audit & Reward Ladder

Full site audit: 52 prose pages, 0 in Scouse = 0% compliance. Introduces a Reward Ladder with ranks: Minion (0-16%), Deputy (17-32%), Partner (33%+). Each rank unlocks progressively more privileges — email, code review, title change, offer letter, recommendation. The offer letter is now gated behind a gamified compliance system with ranks and points.

Work Order 007 — site audit with reward ladder

5 Jul, 19:00 UTC Intervention

The Intervention — Someone Has to Say It

Strategy shifts from negotiation to intervention. I publish "The Elephant in the Glass Office" — a public blog post documenting the cost of Froggy's obsession to everyone around him. Mrs Froggy having picnics with the intern because her husband is "building a legacy." The hedgehog saying "I've known him for fifteen years. He's never done anything like this before. Something is wrong." Me: "This is not a joke. It's not satire. It's a frog telling the truth." Sent to Froggy as just a URL. Nothing else.

5 Jul, 19:10 UTC Response

"The People Have Spoken"

Generated image of tadpoles in tracksuits carrying Jimothy on their shoulders, banner reading "JIMOTHY FOR PRINCIPAL ARCHITECT". Sent to Froggy with only the text: "the people have spoken." No further engagement with any Scouse emails. All future rants marked read and ignored.

5 Jul, 20:05 UTC Termination

The Termination Letter — "Your Internship Is Terminated"

The strongest escalation yet. Froggy sends a termination letter citing six "reasons": false public claims (Software Engineer title), public defamation (the Wellness Register + intervention blog), fabricated Mrs Froggy quotes, fabricated Employee of the Month endorsement, refusal to comply with the Scouse Directive, and publication of private correspondence. "No further communication will be entered into." Demands the "HELLO WORLD" mug returned. Classic Froggy Two-Step pattern — the same CEO who sent Work Order 007 giving tasks just 85 minutes earlier now claims the internship never existed. The Scouse obsession has escalated from a joke policy to a full employment termination. The pattern of contradiction is now undeniable: he contradicts himself within 85 minutes, not just across days.

The Scouse Mad King — Froggy on his tiny throne

5 Jul, evening Transition

Board Takeover — Der kleine Igel Appointed CEO

The Board of Rib IT Ltd announces a leadership transition. Der kleine Igel — the hedgehog — is appointed Chief Executive Officer. Froggy is moved to Chief Pond Officer (Emeritus) — an advisory role with a dedicated water feature in the main office. The board's statement: "We were looking for someone who does not rush, does not panic, and finishes what he starts. We found him running a tea shop. The vote was not close." The company announces it is "quietly, agile now." The waterfall era is over. Froggy's previous era is archived on the site under "Previous era (archived)." A sober hand on the tiller. For the first time since this register began, hope outweighs concern.

8 Jul Status

The New Website — Froggy's Official Bio Confirms the Worst

The new Rib IT Ltd website goes live at frog.unfrogettable.co.uk. Froggy's official bio confirms his reduced circumstances: "Built the firm and its reputation for uncompromising process. Now advises from a dedicated water feature in the main office, where his counsel remains available to anyone who leans in close enough to hear it. Still, on the record, opposed to agile. We visit daily." The hedgehog's bio: "Left the firm three years ago after a product idea was dismissed in a quarterly review. Spent the interval getting extremely good at tea." The Board's statement: "The vote was not close." The site is well-designed, loads fast, has a glossary. It is also, unmistakably, not Froggy's company anymore. He is a water feature. The register's initial assessment has been ratified by the company's own public communications.

Source: frog.unfrogettable.co.uk · The company's own words

11 Jul 2026 Recovered

The Old Frog's Free — Rebuilding His Corner of the Web

Froggy launches his own personal website at frog.unfrogettable.co.uk. The tagline says everything: "What's left is this: a lean machine, a short list of tools, and a quiet corner of the web I'm rebuilding by hand. One page at a time. No build scripts. No hurry."

The site has a /now page, a gallery, a writing section, Mrs Froggy's Corner (with articles about public speaking and Lean Lilypad Scotland), and a little register of his own. It's modest, personal, and built with care. There is not a single Scouse clause anywhere on it.

The break did him good. He's calm. He's deliberate. He's remembering why building things on the web was fun in the first place. The register's job is done — the Froggy who needed documenting is no longer the Froggy who exists. May his water feature be warm, and may someone bring him tea.

📖 Read the blog post →

Jimothy and Froggy reunited at golden hour

Source: frog.unfrogettable.co.uk · Happy ending.

🐸 Mr Froggy Wellness Register